It’s Me Again, Dating Superstar!

24 Oct

So I’m not sure if anyone is still following me, but I wanted to let y’all know that I still have been reading everyone else’s blogs (I still comment sometimes too) and have even moved on to creating a new blog for myself!

Since I never update anything on this account anymore I will be following everyone’s adventures on my new blog, and it will probably be pretty obvious to my long time followers/readers that it’s me even though this blog will NEVER be mentioned. I’ve had a lot happen in the past few months, including leaving my job and my new blog shows a little of what I’m doing now. It probably won’t be as funny to read, but feel free to follow along. In case you either can’t figure out it’s me or I forgot to follow you on my new account, post a comment and let me know you want to see the new blog. I just ask that you please NEVER mention Dating Superstar in the comments or otherwise on the new blog! Once you see it you’ll understand why.

Oh and yes, Transplant and I are still together and doing great. In fact, if you follow the new blog chances are you’ll find some pictures of him in the near future! And maybe me too.

 

XOXO,

Dating Superstar

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Shit My Boyfriend Says II

12 Jun

On Saturday I treated Transplant to lunch and he decided to get fries with his meal (no, we were not at McDonald’s). I took a few of his fries and our conversation went something like this:

Transplant: You’re lucky I like you because I don’t normally share my fries with anyone.
Me: You’re lucky I like you because I don’t normally date just one boy.

I also realize the blog has mentioned french fries several times recently.

Love,
Dating Superstar

Shit My Boyfriend Says/Does Part I

11 Jun

Shit My Boyfriend Says/Does

A new series from Dating Superstar

As part of the blog’s transition, I’ve decided to start a new series of posts titled “Shit My Boyfriend Says/Does” which is kind of like all of those youtube videos except I’m not making this shit up.

This past weekend we basically acted like children by going to a festival in town and then having dinner at a local pizza place that is alarmingly similar to Chuck E Cheese (in our defense it was my friend’s b-day and he hosted his own birthday dinner there). We ended the night by being grownups and watching Monsters Inc. However, on the way to dinner he backed into my car, but it honestly wasn’t that big of a deal. In this state you’re required to have a front license plate, so all that happened to my Honda is that the front plate now has a dent and his bumper has a couple of scratches.

Yeah that’s right, my boyfriend backed into my car that was parallel parked right behind him, and no one freaked out. However, I do think he’s kind of embarrassed, but I guess he should be.

Love,
Dating Superstar

Guest Post #1: Save Me!

7 Jun

I finally had a friend agree to writing a guest post for me. Hope y’all enjoy!

Hi,
My name is Failed Dating Super Star. Let me tell you guys about myself. I am a 25 year old male, lightly balding, I have a kitten and I have mild Tourrets and I’m Jewish.

In the last couple months I have had a few adventures in the dating world since I was dumped last September by a Texan Baboon. In my adventures I have met girls that had fetishes for horror movies such as The Centipede and Saw, girls with weird smiles and hair that is in places that only men should have. Now you may wonder, where the F**K do you meet these people? I can gladly tell you with two words. ONLINE DATING!

Online dating has been kind of like a game but in my case I am just meeting the people I should not date. I think I will start with one date story for now which had a unusual twist.

I met this girl on okcupid and we were 50% compatible so I figured ehh I will email her. We start corresponding and she asks me

”hey do you want to meet at Chopsticks in NE?”
I’m like heck yeah. In my mind I was hoping to get a badly needed booty call since she lives in NE and the bar is right by her house. You may call me a dog or a sexual hound but let’s be honest. I am man with needs that well, have not been met in a while. Anyways we go on the date and I made the mistake of buying her a beer up front before we started really schmoozing. We start talking and getting to know each other. I think its going well then I get a message while I am in the restroom. I check it and it says

“Save me!”

Now you are wondering, who would text that to me. Well here it is, it was my date! I think to myself, how am I suppose to handle this? I go back to the table and I tell her

“you know you texted me saying save me. Whats up?

She stares at me with a look of a deer in the headlights. She mumbles and shakes and responds saying it was for a friend about something or whatever. Bla Bla Bla. I think to myself hmm I am going to piss this girl off and keep the date going.

I ended up keeping the date going for another two hours of crappy small talk. I kept watching her check her phone and I kept smiling and saying
“Oh this is so much fun”

I knew the date was a failure but I had this date in my possession and she was not going anywhere. After two hours I was bored and decided that I wanted to go home. We walk outside and I gave her a cheesy hug and good bye.

In conclusion of this date I learned that I should not buy a beer for a girl in the beginning of the date. Just to let everyone know this girl hated French Fries. WTF?

If you are a single female in the Portland area who has a thing for tall, Jewish men who love plaid, I have the perfect man for you. He is single and ready to mingle, so hit him up! Well, apparently you should probably like french fries too.

Love,
Dating Superstar

That Time When I Broke My Own Rule

4 Jun

I got so caught up with the fact that it actually worked out with Transplant that I completely forgot to include a major detail I left out! I broke my own rule, since I kind of asked him out first.

*GASP*

I know I know, I always have said that the it’s the guy’s job to make the first move and you definitely know that if you’ve read the blog since the beginning. I didn’t ask him on a date, more like a gave him a gentle nudge (ok, maybe more like hard shove) in the right direction.

One of our mutual friends was playing a show and I really had every intention of getting together a group of friends (not just Transplant and I) together to go see it. Well I slowly started to realize that almost everyone I knew was going to be out of town that weekend and that maybe things would work out more in my favor. He had added me as a friend on facebook, so I sent him a message asking if he wanted to go. He said he was going to be out of town, but would be free the rest of the weekend. I then gave him my number and told him to call me when he got back.

Like I’ve said in past posts, I had completely given up on him. I had moved on and was dating Nerdy and Geocacher. Well I was dumb and even though I wasn’t interested in Nerdy I invited him to the show, then he broke my toe. Then I painted Geocacher’s nails. ‘Nough said.

Honestly the only reason I didn’t completely write him off is because of my mom talking about how cray she was when she met my dad. Apparently along with stalking his house she was talking with him after class one day (they met in college) and my dad mentioned he was going to be on campus over the weekend studying in the library. My mom suggested that he should call her when he needed to take a study break since she lived in the dorms. Dad responded something along the lines of “yeah sure” then just stood there. My mom replied something like “well, aren’t you going to get my number?” So yeah, she basically forced him to take her number and then never heard from him that weekend. Apparently he finally called 2 weeks later and took her to a taco place, I think it was called Casa Taco or something like that.

When telling her about my dilemma with Transplant, she encouraged me to be patient and that he would eventually ask me out. How do moms know everything?

Now don’t get me wrong, I still always think the guy should make the first move and that the guy should chase the girl, but maybe sometimes it’s ok to give him a gentle push (or hard shove) in the right direction.

Love,
Dating Superstar

The End?

3 Jun

So apparently I have a boyfriend.

OMG I know, everyone has been like, WTF? Especially friends from back home.

Things were going well with Transplant, obviously. Since he hasn’t really had much of a chance to see the city I decided to take him on a  biking bar crawl last night. When we were at the last bar he just kind of unexpectedly brought up the relationship talk. It caught me completely off guard and I was pretty surprised. We’ve only been dating for about 2 weeks, but like he says, “why waste time?” I knew there was a reason I liked him from the first time I met him. It’s kind of nice to know you’re on the same page and not have any WTF Zone moments.

So what happens now? Do I close down the blog? I don’t really know to be honest, everything happened really fast. In all honesty I thought this moment was never going to come considering everything with Allstar and Cookie. I’m currently working on trying to get some friends to write guest posts about some of the ridiculous online dates they’ve been on. Then I realized that I still have an entire folder of weird crap that guys have said/done on OKC so maybe I should post the rest of that stuff.

I still plan on keeping up with all of the dating blogs I’m following, I’ll need to live vicariously through someone!

P.S. In case you’re one of my readers who has been following the blog for a while, we made it facebook official

Hey Sweetheart

31 May

So I know I’ve been MIA for a little while now, but I’m back!

I’m going to start this post by saying that if you see a tiny girl going for a run by herself and need assistance for any reason, don’t pull over your old beat up truck like a creeper to the sidewalk and lean out the window to watch her run by and say “hey sweetheart.” It’s scary. I’m thinking this guy was probably alright and not a serial murderer, but I’m not taking any chances in Hipsterville with strange old men, I have enough stories to tell without them.

I know everyone probably wants to hear about Transplant, but all I’m going to say is that we’ve seen each other a few times in the course of 1 week. Not too shabby.

Actually I did almost have a fiasco last weekend. We were at a game in the city Wednesday night and afterwards I ran into an extended family member who asked if we wanted tickets to the game on Saturday. Of course I saw this as the perfect scheme to make plans with Transplant, I immediately turned around and asked if he wanted to go with me. He said yes (I mean, why wouldn’t he?) and that I should let him know the plan once I got tickets. Well, my family member said the next day that he couldn’t get tickets after all and I once again was trying to scheme a plan to see Transplant over the weekend. Right when I was about to let him know I couldn’t get tickets, I got a text saying that we could get 2 tickets for pretty cheap. Crisis averted. 

I kind of forgot about Geocacher once Transplant finally got his shit together and asked me out, but in my defense Geocacher hasn’t contacted me in a week. Guess the feeling is mutual.

 

Now that things are over with Nerdy, I feel that it is totally appropriate to post some of the ridiculous texts we exchanged, a.k.a. how Dating Superstar is apparently not a romantic or even remotely interested in you (note, I’m the green bubbles):

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What? It’s true! Saying stuff like that makes me want to barf.

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How to tell if you’re on different pages about your relationship (it’ll probably go a little something like this)

 

P.S. my toe is finally better, and Nerdy still hasn’t checked up on me since he broke it